I think we all know people that simply need to be in a relationship. If one relationship ends they’re immediately on the alert, desperately seeking out a subsequent person to fill the vacancy in their life. Is that okay or does one think there’s something wrong with being so keen to fall in love?
There are many times in the year that have the potential to be really testing for single people; like Christmas, Valentine’s Day, birthdays, long weekends, events where couples are invited together can all evoke the sensation of being alone and without a lover.
– Some people do not feel complete unless they have a special someone in their lives, someone to look after, care for, to believe in. They’ll even experience a physical incompleteness when they’re single, a deep emptiness inside, their need to be needed defines who they’re. Their relationship with their spouse gives a direction to their lives.
– But when a relationship ends it’s good to allow yourself some time to settle down and move on, to have some time to adjust, reflect on yourself, even grieve, followed by recovery and healing happening.
– Regardless of the reason for the breakup there are often some benefits in taking time to reflect on what went on, what went wrong, the teachings learned, and, importantly, what’s wanted and not wanted from future relationships. It is often good to have time to find out how to cope alone, albeit it feels strange or awkward. it is vital to permit time for oneself, to find out from past experiences, and plan to become reacquainted with who you’re.
– Post-breakup we will become so highly conscious of what we do not want from our next relationship that we react by that specialize in the desirability of traits and characteristics that are the precise opposite of what we’ve previously had and become blinded to other considerations, consequently noticing little else, good or bad, that fall outside of that criteria.
– Thus, having an ex who is very organized, fit, and sporty might prompt us to react by seeking a replacement partner who is more casual and relaxed, the other of what we’ve grown far away from, only to eventually become irritated at their apparent lack of care, realizing that somewhere in-between may be a good compromise.
– When we’re too keen to fall in love with someone, it’s tempting to look at what we would like to see in that person, where we only notice the glossy packaging that’s being presented. It is often seductive to blank out the occasional uneasy feelings and niggles, to justify or excuse their off-days, irritability, or lack of motivation because we’re so keen for this new relationship to figure out.
– it is easy to forget that we’re seeing the best version of somebody at the start of a new relationship, the kind, friendly, wanting to please one that can also be keen to fall in love. They’re easy-going, happy to love equivalent things, are nice to our youngsters, our elderly relatives, don’t mind being inconvenienced if we modify our plans.
– Relish the great times. but also keep a healthy perspective. Enjoy the excitement and excitement of going to know someone new; the sexual chemistry, the flutter once you receive a text or are thankful to see them. But even be realistic and know that each one relationship requires work, tolerance, and patience, plus an honest sense of humor sometimes to succeed.
Start whenever you feel like it is a good time. Be clear about having some time for yourself, about maintaining existing friendships and interests, even if you choose to spend your time with them. Establish good channels of communication and discuss any ‘touchy subjects’, issues, or disagreements which will arise. Share your feelings and be prepared to compromise once in a while. So being in love will always be a beautiful part of your life.